Relationships Influence Your Talent

In his book My Personal Best, John Wooden writes, “There is a choice you have to make in everything you do, so keep in mind that in the end, the choice you make makes you.” Nowhere is this more evident than in your relationships. Nothing will influence your talent as much as the important relationships in your life. Surround yourself with people who add value to you and encourage you, and your talent will go in a positive direction. Spend time with people who constantly drain you, pull you in the wrong direction, or try to knock you down, and it will be almost impossible for your talent to take flight. People can trace the successes and failures in their lives to their most significant relationships.



Music Legend



In 2005, Margaret and I went to see the movie Walk the Line. I have to admit, I didn’t know very much about Johnny Cash before I saw the movie, but I was fascinated by his relationship with June Carter. And that got me reading about them.

During his career, Johnny Cash recorded more than 1,500 songs, had 14 number one hit songs, was awarded 11 Grammys, and sold 50 million albums. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Songwriters Hall of Fame, and the Country Music Hall of Fame. He was a huge star. In 1959, he made a quarter of a million dollars by playing concerts. In 1961, he performed at 290 concerts attended by nearly a million people. He was a major influence on performers such as Elvis and Bob Dylan. And he was as much of a mess as the movie depicted him to be.



Legendary Mess



Cash took his first pill—an amphetamine tablet called Benzedrine—in 1957. He was instantly hooked.

“It increased my energy, it sharpened my wit, it banished my shyness, it improved my timing, it turned me on like electricity flowing through a light bulb,” Cash recalled. For the next ten years, Cash was addicted to pills. “Every pill I took was an attempt to regain the wonderful, natural feeling of euphoria I experienced the first time. Not a single one of them, not even one among many thousands that slowly tore me away from my family and my God and myself, ever worked. It was never as great as the first time, no matter how hard I tried to make it so.” And Cash tried Cash tried hard to make it so.

The damage that it did him was all that the movie Walk the Line showed and even more. At one point, Cash decided that he couldn’t stand to live with it anymore. In his autobiography, Cash explained what happened:



I just went on and on. I was taking amphetamines by the handful, literally, and barbiturates by the handful too, not to sleep but just to stop the shaking from the amphetamines. I was canceling shows and recording dates, and when I did manage to show up, I couldn’t sing because my throat was too dried out from the pills. My weight was down to 155 pounds on a six-foot, one-and-a-half-inch frame. I was in and out of jails, hospitals, car wrecks. I was a walking vision of death, and that’s exactly how I felt. I was scraping the filthy bottom of the barrel of life.



Having lost all hope, Cash traveled to Tennessee to Nickajack Cave, a series of deep caves he had visited before, where spelunkers and explorers had sometimes lost their way and died failing to find a way out. Cash intended to share their fate. He parked his Jeep, went in, and crawled for hours—until the batteries in his flashlight gave out. Then he lay down in the dark to die.

Cash said in the dark he experienced an encounter with God, and he realized his life was not his own to throw away. With newfound hope, he decided to start crawling in the dark. Miraculously he found his way out. And when he emerged blinking in the sunlight, he was dumbfounded and confused to find his mother and June Carter waiting for him. “I knew there was something wrong. I had to come and find you,” his mother told him. She had traveled all the way from California.



Recovery



During the next few weeks and months, June Carter and her mother cared for him, shielded him from negative influences, and nursed him back to health, similar to the way it was depicted in the movie, in the past June had tried to help Cash, encouraging him to give up the drugs, and often getting rid of them. Now Cash readily accepted her help. A few months later, they were married. For the next thirty-five years, they were inseparable. And in the 1980s when Cash got addicted to painkillers due to a stomach problem, she helped him recover again. The battle was so hard-fought that when Cash later underwent heart bypass surgery, he refused any painkillers.

Walk the Line depicted June Carter as a positive influence on Johnny Cash, but even as good a job as it did, it couldn’t capture her true character. Perhaps the best description came from Rosanne Cash, Johnny’s daughter from his first marriage. At June’s funeral, Rosanne said:



In her eyes, there were two kinds of people in the world: those she knew and loved, and those she didn’t know and loved. She looked for the best in everyone; it was a way of life for her. If you pointed out that a particular person was perhaps not totally deserving of her love, and might in fact be somewhat of a lout, she would say, “Well, honey, we just have to lift him up.” She was forever lifting people up. It took me just have to lift him up.” She was forever lifting people up. It took me a long time to understand that what she did when she lifted you up was to mirror the very best parts of you back to yourself. She was like a spiritual detective: she saw into all your dark corners and deep recesses, saw your potential and your possible future, and the gifts you didn’t even know you possessed, and she “lifted them up” for you to see. She did it for all of us, daily, continuously. But her great mission and passion were lifting up my dad. If being a wife were a corporation, June would have been the CEO. It was her most treasured role. She began every day by saying, “What can I do for you, John?” Her love filled up every room he was in, lightened every path he walked, and her devotion created a sacred, exhilarating place for them to live out their married life. My daddy has lost his dearest companion, his musical counterpart, his soul mate and best friend.



The bottom line is that June Carter made Johnny Cash a better man. He reached his potential as an artist and as a human being in large part because of her influence. Cash put her impact on him in perspective a few years before they died:



The publicity in the 1960s was that June saved my life, and I sometimes still hear it said that she’s the reason I’m alive today. That may be true, but knowing what I do about addiction and survival, I’m fully aware that the only human being who can save you is yourself. What June did for me was post signs along the way, lift me up when I was weak, encourage me when I was discouraged, and love me when I felt alone and unlovable. She’s the greatest woman I have ever known.



The Impact of Relationships



I think many people mistakenly minimize the impact that other people can have on their lives. My parents understood the influence of relationships. Today as I look back on my formative years, I see how intentional they were about who we spent time with and who we selected as our friends. My parents made our house the place to be in the neighborhood. We had a pool table, a Ping-Pong table, and a chemistry set in our basement. We had a shuffleboard court, a basketball court, and a Wiffle ball diamond in our yard. Everybody wanted to come to our house. And that was the strategy. My parents wanted to be able to know the kids we played with. Typical of the times (it was the 1950s and 1960s), my mom didn’t work outside the home, so she was always there to keep an eye on us.

Mom was always on the periphery of our play, fixing us lunch or a cold drink, putting Band-Aids on cuts, and observing the interaction and behavior of each person. Every now and then, she would ask my brother, Larry, my sister, Trish, or me about a particular friend. As children, we had no idea of the importance of associating with good kids rather than bad ones, but our parents did. They made sure the influences on our lives were positive.

Years later when I was an adult and I spent several hours a week counseling people, I learned through daily observation what my parents knew. Almost all our sorrows can be traced to relationships with the wrong people and our joys to relationships with the right people.



The Direction Relationships Take Us



The relationships in our lives really do make or break us. They either lift us up or take us down. They add, or they subtract. They help to give us energy, or they take it away. Here’s what I mean:



Some Relationships Take from Us

There are a couple of good ways to tell whether a relationship is positive or negative. The first is to note whether a person makes you feel better or worse about yourself. The second relates to how much energy the relationship requires. Let’s face it, some relationships feel as if they could suck the life out of you. In his book High Maintenance Relationships, Les Parrott identifies the types of people who are likely to hurt us and take energy from us. Here are some of them:



Critics constantly complain or give unwanted advice.

Martyrs are forever the victim and wracked with self-pity.

Wet blankets are pessimistic and habitually negative.

Steamrollers are blindly insensitive to others.

Gossips spread rumors and leak secrets.

Control freaks are unable to let go and let things be.

Backstabbers are irrepressively two-faced.

Green-eyed monsters seethe with envy.

Volcanoes build steam and are always ready to erupt.

Sponges are always in need but never give anything back.

Competitors always keep track of tit for tat.



Les also offers a straightforward quiz that can help you tell whether someone in your life is a negative person who takes energy from you. Answer yes or no to each of the following questions:



1. Do you feel especially anxious when a particular person has called and left a message for you to return the call?

2. Have you recently been dealing with a relationship that drains you of enthusiasm and energy?

3. Do you sometimes dread having to see or talk to a particular person at work or in a social situation?

4. Do you have a relationship in which you give more than you get in return?

5. Do you find yourself second-guessing your own performance as a result of an interaction with this person?

6. Do you become more self-critical in the presence of this person?

7. Is your creativity blocked, or is your clarity of mind hampered somewhat, by the lingering discomfort of having to deal with a difficult person?

8. Do you try to calm yourself after being with this person by eating more, biting your nails, or engaging in some other unhealthy habit?

9. Do you ever have imaginary conversations with this person or mental arguments in which you defend yourself or try to explain your side of a conflict?

10. Have you become more susceptible to colds, stomach problems, or muscle tension since having to deal with this difficult person?

11. Do you feel resentful that this person seems to treat other people better than she or he treats you?

12. Do you find yourself wondering why this person singles you out for criticism but rarely acknowledges things you do well?

13. Have you thought about quitting your job as a result of having to interact with this difficult person?

14. Have you noticed that you are more irritable or impatient with people you care about because of leftover frustrations from your interaction with this difficult person?

15. Are you feeling discouraged that this person has continued to drain you of energy despite your efforts to improve the relationship?



Les says that if you answered yes to ten or more of the questions, then you are certainly in a high-maintenance relationship.

I don’t mean to imply that only negative relationships require you to put energy into them. All relationships require you to give some energy. Relationships don’t cultivate and sustain themselves. The question is, how much energy do they require? And do they give anything in return? For example, some of the positive relationships that require a tremendous amount of energy in my life include:



· My family—every family has ups and down, but that’s okay; that’s what it means to be in a family.

· My inner circle of friends—these people get everything I’ve got, and they give their all, too; that’s what friendship is all about.

· My team—leadership begins with a serving attitude; I always try to give more than I receive.

· Those less fortunate than I am—every year I travel to developing countries to train leaders and add value to people through EQUIP, my nonprofit organization.



If a relationship requires you to expend energy some of the time, that’s normal. If a relationship saps your energy all the time, then that relationship has a negative effect on you. You may be able to see its effects in many areas of your life. It dilutes your talent because it robs you of energy that you could be using toward your best gifts and skills. It distracts you from your purpose. And it detracts from your best efforts. In the long run, a negative relationship cannot influence your talent in a positive direction.



Some Relationships Add to Us

Some relationships clearly make us better. They energize, inspire, and validate us. They lift us up and give us joy. We should consider the people in these relationships friends and value them highly. Helen Keller remarked, “My friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges, and enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow cast by my deprivation.”

In my book The Treasure of a Friend, I reflect on the nature of friendship. Who else but a friend is there . . .



to believe in your dreams,

to share your joys,

to dry your tears,

to give you hope,

to comfort your hurts,

to listen,

to laugh with you,

to show you a better way,

to tell you the truth,

to encourage you.

Who else can do that for you?

That’s what friends are for.



Not long ago, I sat down and listed the types of people who add value to my life and give me energy. Here is what I wrote:



1. My family—the best moments with my family are my best moments.

2. Creative people—they unleash creativity within me like no others.

3. Successful people—I love to hear their stories.

4. Encouraging people—encouragement is like oxygen to my soul.

5. Fun people—laughter always lifts my spirit.

6. Good thinkers—conversations with them are my favorite things.

7. My team—they always add value to me.

8. Learners—interested people are interesting people.



Positive relationships take us to a higher level. They encourage us and bring out the best in us. They make us better than we otherwise would be without them. They are some of life’s greatest gifts!



Some Relationships Are Pivotal to Our Lives

Throughout a lifetime, people are in contact with thousands of people in varying levels of relationships. Most have a very limited impact on us. But a few relationships have such a tremendous impact that they change the course of our lives. They are pivotal to who we are and what we do.

Relationships commonly go through four stages:



1. Surface relationships. These require no commitment from either person. Examples include the clerk who helps you at the post office, acquaintances at church or the gym, and your favorite waiter at the neighborhood restaurant. You recognize these people and they recognize you. You may even know their names, but you don’t know much beyond what you can observe from a distance.

2. Structured relationships. The next level is a little more involved than surface relationships. Structured relationships occur around routine encounters, usually at a particular place at a particular time. They often develop around a common interest or activity. The people you know from school or work, the parents at your kid’s activities, and people who share your hobbies fall into this category.

3. Secure relationships. When a surface or structured relationship grows, trust develops, and the people involved begin to want to spend time together, it starts to develop into a genuine personal relationship. This is the level where you develop friendships.

4. Solid relationships. When people in a secure relationship build on their friendship and develop complete trust and absolute confidentiality, it can go to the solid relationship level. These relationships are long term and are characterized by a mutual desire to give and serve one another. Your desire should be to cultivate the most important relationships in your life: your spouse, your best friends, and your inner circle.



As the level of relationship increases, so does the influence of people on one another. And each time people try to take the relationship higher, it creates a period of testing. During that time, the relationship can go one way or another, positive or negative. If the dynamic becomes lose-lose or win-lose, the relationship is negative. Positive relationships are always overall win-win.

Every now and then, a relationship goes beyond solid to become significant, a relationship that is pivotal to your life. I don’t think anyone can try to create one of these relationships. I call them simply God’s gift to me. I don’t deserve them—but I do need them. People with whom I have enjoyed this kind of relationship give beyond reason and lift me up to a level I could not achieve without them.

Tom Phillippe is one such friend. Tom and I have been friends for more than thirty years. We have traveled the world together, yet we also enjoy just sitting at home talking with no other agenda. Not long ago a group of Tom’s friends got together with him to celebrate his seventieth birthday. Each of us had the chance to tell the others how Tom has affected our lives. I wrote what I wanted to say and read it to the group:



Tom has loved me unconditionally. Victor Hugo said, “The supreme happiness of life is being loved in spite of yourself.” Tom has also loved me continually. In 1980, he encouraged me to join the Wesleyan denomination. In 1981, he began assisting me in starting leadership conferences. He gave me an opportunity to enter the business world. He managed my personal development organization when time would not allow me to do it. He financially kept my nonprofit organization alive in its beginning days. Today it trains millions of leaders internationally. One of God’s gifts to me was Tom’s friendship.



I then closed with a poem called “Your Name Is Written … at the Top of My List.” Tom has changed my life forever. He has been a lifter in so many areas of my life. If you ever encounter someone who has that impact on you, fight to preserve that relationship, show your gratitude often, and give whatever you can in return.



Five Signs of a Solid Relationship



Relationships at the secure level validate us and help us to become more comfortable with who we are and to discover our gifts and talents. Solid relationships add value to us so that our talent is actually enhanced. Our solid friends tell us the truth in a supportive way. They keep us grounded. If we start to get off course, they help keep us on track. They encourage us when we’re down and inspire us to go higher. A few solid relationships can make all the difference in where a talented person ends up in life.

As you engage in relationships, try to find people with whom you can build solid relationships that are mutually beneficial. Here are the signs that a relationship is headed toward that level:



1. Mutual Enjoyment

In solid relationships, people spend time together just for the enjoyment of being together. What they do is not of significance. For example, my wife, Margaret, and I often run errands together. What’s enjoyable about dropping off the dry cleaning, buying groceries, or picking up items at a neighborhood shop? Nothing—except spending time with her.

I think when many of us were kids, we intuitively understood the value of spending time with someone special. Do you remember how it felt to sit on the lap of your mother or father when you were small? Or how excited you got when a favorite uncle or a grandparent came to visit? Or how it felt when you first started dating? Unfortunately the busyness and pressures of life often cause us to forget what a joy this can be. I’ve always valued time with Margaret. Now that she and I are grandparents, time with people I love means even more to me. Try not to let the stresses of life make you lose track of that.



2. Respect

When you value someone on the front end of a relationship, you earn respect on the back end. And that’s foundational to all solid relationships. When do people respect you? When you don’t let obstacles or circumstances become more important to you than the relationship. When the pressure is on and you still treat them with patience and respect. When the relationship is struggling and you are willing to work hard to protect and preserve it. That’s when you have proven worthy of others’ respect. Respect is almost always built on difficult ground.

Proverbs, the book of wisdom, teaches about the strength of relationships:



· Friends are scarce (18:24).

· Friends will not jump ship when the going gets rough (17:17).

· Friends will be available for counsel (27:9).

· Friends will speak the truth to you (27:6).

· Friends will sharpen you (27:17).

· Friends will be sensitive to your feelings (26:18-19).

· Friends will stick with you (16:28; 18:24).



People who respect each other and build a solid relationship enjoy all of these benefits of friendship.



3. Shared Experiences

Going through a significant experience with another person creates a mutual bond. The experience can be positive or negative. Families come together and enjoy reminiscing about vacations they took years before (often the more disastrous, the more fondly remembered!). Colleagues build relationships as they work together on high-pressure projects. Soldiers talk about the bond that occurs as they train together and how it only increases if they go to war together. We all need others to lean on and to celebrate with. Shared experiences give us those opportunities.

I still remember vividly my father taking me out of school when I was ten years old so that I could accompany him on a business trip. At the time, he was a district superintendent in our denomination, which meant that he was a pastor and leader to many pastors of local churches in our region. Dad and I packed for the trip and traveled from town to town car. As we rode along, we talked. As he met with the various pastors, I watched him encouraging them. It not only created a special bond between us, but it modeled the kind of work with people that I would one day be doing myself. It was an experience I will treasure until the day I die.



4. Trust

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “ The glory of friendship is not in the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is in the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.” Trust is both a joy of relationships and a necessary component. In my book Winning with People, I described the Bedrock Principle, which says, “Trust is the foundation of any relationship.” Nothing is more important in relationships. If you don’t have trust, you don’t have much of a relationship.



5. Reciprocity

All relationships experience ebb and flow. Sometimes one person is the primary giver. Sometimes the other person is. But relationships that continue to be one-sided will not remain solid. When they continue to be out of balance, they become unstable and often unhealthy. If you want the relationship to continue, you will need to make changes. Here’s how it works:



· When you are getting the better of the relationship, changes must be made.

· When the other person is getting the better part, changes must be made.

· When you’re both getting an equally good deal, continue as before.



Friendships are like bank accounts. You cannot continue to draw on them without making deposits. If either of you becomes overdrawn and it stays that way, then the relationship won’t last.

Solid relationships must be beneficial to both parties. Each person has to put the other first, and both have to benefit. Hall of Fame football coach Vince Lombardi described this when he was asked what made a winning team. He observed,



There are a lot of coaches with good ball clubs who know the fundamentals and have plenty of discipline but still don’t win the game. Then you come to the third ingredient: if you’re going to play together as a team, you’ve got to care for one another. You’ve got to love each other, Each player has to be thinking about the next guy and saying to himself, “If I don’t block that man, Paul is going to get his legs broken. I have to do my job in order that he can do his.” The difference between mediocrity and greatness is the feeling these guys have for each other.



Solid relationships are always win-win. If both people aren’t winning, then the relationship isn’t solid, and it won’t last.



TALENT + RELATIONSHIPS = A TALENT-PLUS PERSON PUTTING THE IALENT-PLUS FORMULA INTO ACTION



If you desire to become a talent-plus person in the area of relationships—a person whose relationships influence him or her in a positive direction—then here is what I suggest you do:



1. Identify the Most Important People in Your Life

Who are the significant people in your life, the people you spend the most time with, the people whose opinions mean the most to you? These people are your greatest influencers. You need to identify who they are before you can assess how they are influencing your talent.



2. Assess Whether They Are Influencing You in the Right Direction

Once you have identified the people who are influencing you, you would be wise to discern how they are influencing you. The easiest way to do that is to ask the following questions about each person:



What does he think of me? People tend to become what the most important person in their lives believes they can be. Think about small children. If their parents tell them they are losers, stupid, or worthless, they believe they are. If their parents tell them they are smart, attractive, and valuable, they believe they are. We embrace the opinions of people we respect.

Ralph Waldo Emerson asserted, “Every man is entitled to be valued by his best moments.” If you want to be influenced in a positive direction, you need to spend time with people who think positively about you. They need to believe in you.



What does he think of my future? Novelist Mark Twain advised, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Do the most important people in your life envision a positive future for you? Do they see great things ahead of you?

Margaret, my wife, has given me many wonderful gifts during the course of our relationship. One that I cherish is the ministry log book she gave me the year before we were married, knowing that a pastoral career was ahead of me. In it, I could record my activities such as sermon topics, weddings, and funerals. It is a record of my life leading local churches. But I value it most for something she wrote in it in 1968. It said simply,



John,

You’re going to accomplish great things.

Love,

Margaret



Her few words weren’t poetic or profound, but they communicated her confidence in me and her belief in my future. And she has demonstrated that belief in me every day of our marriage.



How does he or she behave toward me in difficult times? There’s an old saying: “In prosperity our friends know us. In adversity we know our friends.” Haven’t you found that to be true? When times are tough and you’re having difficulties, a friend who is influencing you in the right direction is …



Slow to but Quick to

Suspect Trust

Condemn Justify

Offend Defend

Expose Shield

Reprimand Forbear

Belittle Appreciate

Demand Give

Provoke Help

Resent Forgive



When you get knocked down, good friends don’t kick you while you’re down or say, “I told you so.” They pick you up and help you keep going.



What does he bring out of me? British prime minister Benjamin Disraeli observed, “The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own.” That is really the essence of positive relationships that influence people to rise up and reach their potential. They see the best in you and encourage you to strive for it, as June Carter did for Johnny Cash.

Author William Alien Ward remarked, “A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.” That’s what positive relationships should do.



3. If Your Friends Aren’t Friends, Then Make New Friends

A friend sent me a hilarious story that he said was called “Bob’s Last Letter.” Here’s what it said:



Dear Friends:



It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to yell.

Let me relate how I handle the situation.

When I got laid off from my consulting job and took “early retirement” in April, it became necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for health benefits that we need. It was shortly after she started working that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she finally does get supper on the table. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper.

I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren’t cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.

Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can’t make another trip down those steps. I don’t make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening I am willing to overlook it.

Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting or to Wednesday’s or Saturday’s poker club or to Tuesday’s or Thursday’s bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting.

Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.

Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won’t have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn’t hurt her any, if you know what I mean.

When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods.

She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily basis. I’m not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older. However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often because of this article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.



Signed, Bob



P.S. Bob’s funeral was on Saturday, January 25th.

P.P.S. Nancy was acquitted Monday, January 27th



If the people close to you are dragging you down, then it may be time to make some changes. Speaker Joe Larson remarked, “My friends didn’t believe that I could become a successful speaker. So I did something about it. I went out and found me some new friends!”

When you really think about it, the things that matter most in life are the relationships we develop. Remember:



You may build a beautiful house, but eventually it will crumble.

You may develop a fine career, but one day it will be over.

You may save a great sum of money, but you can’t take it with you.

You may be in superb health today, but in time it will decline.

You may take pride in your accomplishments, but someone will surpass you.

Discouraged? Don’t be, for the one thing that really matters, lasts forever—your friendships.



Life is too long to spend it with people who pull you in the wrong direction. And it’s too short not to invest in others. Your relationships will define you. And they will influence your talent—one way or the other. Choose wisely.